I struggle with Perfectionism.
And by struggle, I mean that I self sabotage myself because if I know I won't do or say the "perfect" thing, I simply won't do it at all.
My house. . . is a MESS.
And it's driving me bonkers.
My Husband likes to say that I want to live in a house that looks like no one live in it.
And it's true.
I hate clutter.
I hate messes.
I hate things being out of place.
And I can go back to the way I was raised by my grandmother.
She was ALWAYS constantly cleaning.
She was ALWAYS complaining that she could never stop cleaning.
But most importantly, nothing was EVER good enough for her.
I would clean my room, being proud of myself and yet, it wasn't ever clean enough for her.
I struggle with Perfectionism because of this.
My home being my #1 struggle.
Our house is a mess right now.
Things are out of place and my biggest trigger of all, people coming inside my house and seeing the disaster.
I am being convicted.
God is telling me to LET IT GO.
That the mess doesn't define who I am as a person.
That the mess means I am a caring wife who cooks and cleans for her family.
The mess means that my children have a fun imagination, one that I allow them to thrive in.
The mess means that we have a home to live and bodies to fill it with.
The mess means the memories we are creating.
No one will remember how clean my house is.
But my children will remember what we made with our messes.
To them, it's not messes.
To them, it's magic.
I am being convicted of my Perfectionism.
And I need to learn to just let it go.